


Sevasey: moments

by Bellacia



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Angst, Drama, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Music, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Past Domestic Violence, Romance, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:48:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29592363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bellacia/pseuds/Bellacia
Summary: Moments of all kinds of our favorite guys as a couple.
Relationships: Matthew Casey/Kelly Severide
Comments: 15
Kudos: 49





	1. Union and fear

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I felt inspired and decided to start this little section. I hope you like the moments of our dear boys ;)

The two of them always enjoyed all the time they spent together, from the minutes they could spend at the station before a call to all the time they spent in their now apartment. No matter whether it was a moment of silence where the two were immersed in their own things, a flowing chat about banal things or a night full of passion, nothing was too much for Severide and Casey.

At the station, they tended to avoid showing too much affection, as they still didn't want others to be aware of their relationship. They didn't care what they might think, but they wanted to avoid awkward moments or tension with the rest of the team. They hadn't even discussed it with Boden, but the guy was very observant, so both Matt and Kelly were convinced that 'something' had noticed. Although if that was the case, he'd never mentioned it at any point.

The truth...they didn't give a damn.

In those breaks they had when they smoked and talked a lot about their problems or concerns, Kelly noticed that he didn't see himself with anyone else talking about it. He always showed a strong figure that could handle anything, unbreakable and even intimidating on many occasions. He never let anyone see his vulnerable side. At Molly's he always had a big smile on his lips and joked about everything or listened to his men's problems in their personal lives or at work. But he was not among those who talked about their problems. And yet it was only with Matt that he felt safe enough to talk about it without feeling judged or that he was being vulnerable. He wasn't looking to burden him with anything, as many times he tried to evade the subject and leave the blond alone, but he always insisted until he got the Lieutenant to open up to him and express everything he felt.

Kelly understood that about himself: with some girlfriends or even friends like Stella, he rarely talked about his problems or concerns. And if he did, it was very terse, very empty, as if it didn't matter. With Matt, it was different. He felt more understood than ever in his life.

And always, when he finished smoking, Kelly would leave, but not before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek and smiling teasingly at the slight blush that invaded Matt's face.

Matt, on the other hand, came to feel... protected with Kelly. It was as if all his fears suddenly vanished when he thought of the older man or when he was with him, whether at work or at the apartment. As a child, Matt hadn't received much affection from his parents (Greg being a very violent person and Nancy at times acting as if nothing was wrong, though whether out of fear or indifference he didn't know) nor was he lucky enough to make friends in high school. Even at the academy it was quite complicated, let alone after Andy's death. That was a high point for their relationship. They were as hurt as everyone else, but the difference was that they took their pain out on each other, blaming each other and saying it should have been one of them and not Andy.

As time went on, neither could imagine themselves without the other. They risked countless times for each other's lives and never allowed themselves to be harmed, like when Voight wouldn't stop harassing Matt or when Kelly was still grieving Shay's death.

In the apartment, the night after a shift was based on showering together, ordering food and then going to bed. Matt loved to be held protectively. Sometimes he was the one who would walk up to Kelly and, without saying anything, lean against his body. Severide knew what to expect, so he would drape his arm around the lesser's shoulders and pull him close against him. At other times, when they were up to their fill of alcohol, Matt might crawl over to lay his head on Kelly's chest, snoring softly. Severide would laugh slowly and spend the necessary time cuddling him until he managed to roll onto his side, without letting go, of course. At other times, the blond would drop his head into Kelly's lap and take Kelly's hand to let it rest on his head, in a mute signal that he wanted him to stroke his hair. That always relaxed him and Kelly was happy to oblige. Whether it was five minutes or until they both decided to go to bed or go out for the night, it didn't matter; just being able to spend that time together and talking quietly without being interrupted by the sirens or the others in the squadron was all they needed.

That was the way it was most of the time.

Right now, Severide was watching Matt go from side to side in the station. He knew he was done with his paperwork and no one had called him for any extra work, so he didn't understand why he was so stressed. The call had been terrible, but everyone was unharmed and there were no fatalities. It must have been something else. He left her pen on the desk and walked out of his office to go to his office and talk to him.

"Hey, how are you?", he asked, leaning against the frame. Matt was now sitting at his desk, one hand on his forehead and trying to finish writing something.

"Hi. Good, I guess", the blond muttered, barely turning his head to look at him. A little tired.

"Casey, you haven't stopped since we got back from the call and you've been tense ever since. What's wrong", Severide insisted gently, just wanting to help him.

"Nothing", Matt replied dryly.

Knowing him, Kelly went inside, closed the door and sat down on the bed, knowing that Matt couldn't hide it for that long.

Sure enough, the Captain sighed and dropped what he was doing to turn on his side and look at his partner. That was one of the things he had learned over time from him. When something was tormenting him, it was only a matter of time until it broke, but Kelly wouldn't make him wait that long until it affected him in a more obvious way.

"At the last call... a girl I saved...", he exhaled, turning his head and admitted: "She looked so much like Hallie".

Severide felt a pang in his chest when he heard that. It had been years since she had passed away, but it was a subject they never touched on for the sake of Matt's emotions.

"She's fine, she could have made it. But I thought so much about that day and.... about what could have been different".

Slowly, he stood up and sat down next to the older man as he folded his hands and looked at the floor.

"I almost tuned out when I saw her, but I managed to get her out. However, on the way over here, I couldn't stop thinking about it".

"Matt, what happened was not your fault", Severide exclaimed, gently draping an arm around his shoulders.

"And how do you know?", he spat, without moving away from the older man's arm.

"Because you would never have left her behind or gotten to safety on your own. Maybe they would have both died too", Severide answered. It sounded harsh, but it was a reality.

"Like you on the call today", he blurted out without thinking too much.  
  
Kelly closed his eyes at the thought. Yes, he had taken a considerable risk in saving the father. The place was a ticking time bomb and Severide had decided to look for the man anyway, even with Boden's orders to immediately evacuate that house. Severide had smashed a window with his elbow and got out of there with the man, covering him with his body when the house exploded behind him. His elbow had been bruised a bit, but beyond that, he wasn't experiencing any kind of pain. That wasn't going to stop his boy from worrying. After all, Matt always looked out for the good of others before his own. 

"We risked so much on this job and yet, I can't get my head around the idea that one day...I could be waiting for you and you're not coming back", Matt mumbled, allowing a tear to fall down his cheek. "There were so many times you took big risks and we were scared out of our minds, but it's never not going to be hard, Kelly. I don't want to lose you too".

Kelly pulled him to his and kissed his temple.

"Matt, you're not going to lose me. No matter how hard a call is, I'll always come back to you".

"How can you know that?".

"I just do," he replied with a small smile. "Nothing and no one will stop me from hugging you again".

Casey wrapped his arms around his waist and let his face fall between his shoulder and the crook of Kelly's neck, inhaling his scent.

"If it comes down to it, you've risked more than I have at times when you were just going with your squad. Do you know what it's like to think that one day they'll come along and tell me that...you didn't make it? I've thought about it so many times I've had nightmares".

"Why didn't you talk it over with me?".

"I didn't want to worry you. I feel like I'm always burdening you with my problems".

Matt heard the distinct tremor in Severide's voice. When he tried to slowly pull away to look at him, the silver-haired man shook him just a little tighter, clearly not wanting him to see it.

"Kelly, you never bother me or burden me with anything. If I listen to you and advise you, it's because I really care. At no time have I ever thought of complaining to you about it".

The older man kissed his forehead and squeezed his hand.

"I don't think I can go on without you, Matt", he whispered, his lips brushing the same area.

"I love you, Kelly", the blond murmured.

"And I love you, Matt. I swear, you're far from being rid of me so soon".


	2. Sick

Matt rarely got sick as bad as he did at that time. There were times when he would run a fever or have coughing or sneezing fits, but he had always been able to handle it well with rest and medication. Plus, with Dawson and Brett around, he could always ask them and make sure it was nothing serious.

Now, however, it seemed like every cold he could have ever had in his life came back to attack him all at once after a cold snap he went through after a call the day before. His throat was sore, he could barely speak, and the fever was considerable. At the station, he tried to act like it was nothing, but obviously he must have winced every time he heard very loud sounds and his eyes must have looked disoriented, because it didn't take too long for them to notice and ask him what was wrong. He excused himself by saying it was just fatigue, although his hoarse voice made everyone look at each other, concerned.Casey decided to go to his office, hoping not to run into Severide, because he would instantly realize he was sick; he hadn't seen him that morning because the older man got a call from his father, who wanted to see him at the station. He did not want to leave a shift for something he considered unimportant.

As he closed the door, the smell of confinement made him dizzy. He felt like throwing up. But as he leaned a little over the garbage can, nothing came out. It was just the feeling. He sat down heavily and put his hands to his head as he felt his brain hit him from the inside. The sensation was like feeling like he was being hammered. He groaned low and tried to concentrate on his papers. To no avail.  
The door to his office burst open and the noise was enough to intensify his headache.

"Hey, sweetie. I'm sorry I left this morning, Benny wanted to... "But he stopped talking when he saw the trembling in his boy's body. He closed the door and put a hand on his shoulder, asking: "What's wrong, are you okay?"

Casey nodded, but refused to look at him. He didn't want him to see that he was sick.

But Severide was far from satisfied with that mute response. He held him by the chin and gently turned his head. Casey didn't even find the strength to resist and ended up facing his partner, not looking him in the eyes. He barely made out Kelly's figure. He only felt his touch his forehead and then his cheek.

"Matt, you're flying in a fever", Severide exclaimed, alarmed.

"I'm fine", snnaped the younger boy hoarsely. He had not finished speaking when he received a severe fit of coughing.

Severide leaned back a little, sighing. He knew Matt wouldn't admit that he felt sick and couldn't work. It was more important to the blond to stick to his schedule than to take care of his physical and mental health, but that last part was another story. Insisting on it wouldn't do any good. Not on his part at least. Without a word, he walked out of the office, leaving Casey confused. The Captain knew he was up to something, but he didn't feel able to stop him. He just wanted to sleep...

A minute later, his door opened again. Boden's imposing figure stood before him. This time, Matt couldn't help but look him in the eye. The battalion chief leaned down slightly and touched his forehead. He avoided flinching under his boss's touch. Behind him, Kelly looked at him almost with an apologetic expression. He was sure Matt would be a little annoyed with him for telling Boden, but Severide wouldn't go quietly if he had his partner sick at the station. If he was unlucky, that would cost him dearly on a call, whether it was smoke that was only going to make it worse or getting disoriented inside a burning dwelling.

"Casey, you can't do the shift in this condition", Boden stated firmly.

"Chief, I'm telling you, I'm...", Casey tried.

"Not at all", Boden cut him off, but without abruptness. "Take the rest of the shift and as much time as you need until you get better". 

"Chief, I..."

"Don't argue with me. Please".

Matt sighed and nodded, defeated. Boden walked out and Kelly asked:

"Chief, can I...?"

"Of course", Boden nodded, smiling slightly. "Take good care of him. I know him, and I know he'll try to get out of bed any minute".

"I will. Thank you".

They both left the station with their bags and Severide stopped Matt from trying to drive again. He was still impressed that Matt made it to the station in his condition. The ride was silent, Matt was dozing and breathing softly through his mouth. Apparently, his nose had been stuffed up. Kelly held back a sigh. He wouldn't say it, but he really hated it when Matt slacked off like that. He always thought he could handle anything even in the worst circumstances and completely ignored his own health. He always took care of everyone almost the same way Boden did, but he forgot to take care of himself. Severide would never hold that against him, but he would let him know that he didn't want him to overstep his boundaries. He feared that if it came to that one day, Matt's body and mind wouldn't be able to cope, and that would end a stay at the Med.

Parking near the front door of the building, Matt woke up and tried to get his bearings.

"Are you okay or do you want a ride?", he joked lightly, getting a smile on Casey's face.

"I can walk... yet".

As I helped him inside, Matt said awkwardly:

"What about my truck?".

"I'll go get it later. Don't worry about that".

"What about the tickets?".

"You won't get a ticket. It's where you always leave it".

"The traffic cops are weird. They give you tickets when they want to".

Kelly stifled a giggle. One clear way to control Matt's fever was to know whether or not he was talking gibberish. If it didn't go any higher, medication would help him be fine in a few days. If he started to seem much more disoriented, was shaking a lot and couldn't speak properly or claimed to see 'strange things', then they should go straight to the hospital. That last had only happened twice, but it was best to keep that in mind just in case.  
  
As they entered, Casey dropped his purse and hurried to the bathroom. Severide left his near the door and went to check on him. Sure enough, he was kneeling in front of the toilet, vomiting. The older man grimaced at the sound of retching and the remains of Matt's stomach being expelled from his mouth. He knelt down beside him and stroked his back tenderly, letting him know he was by his side. It was at least two minutes that Casey lay there, waiting in case he threw up again. But no. He was already empty. Severide unloaded everything and took a towel to gently wipe his lips. He didn't let go until he could lay him down on his bed. Matt could barely stand without his legs starting to shake like jelly and his eyes rolling back a little, clearly dizzy. He never complained when he was sick, but rather tried to show that he could handle it. Severide had always joked about that difference between them: the times he got sick, Matt would tease him about what a baby he was. He complained about everything and even the smallest thing bothered him. 

"Will you go back on shift?", Matt muttered, lying on his right side.

"No way. I'm not leaving you alone, especially not in this state", Kelly replied, running a hand through his hair. He avoided grimacing as he felt his boy's temperature.

Matt smiled weakly and closed his eyes.

"Would you like something to drink", Kelly offered.

"Just water," Matt agreed, "and headache pills".

Even the water felt heavy in his stomach. Drinking half a glass and barely swallowing the pill for his headache, Matt felt nauseous. Kelly left him a basket by the bed just in case, again. And it was for the best. Ten minutes after finishing the glass of water, Matt dumped half his body off the bed, onto the basket, and vomited water and then bile. Kelly held one of his shoulders in case he went forward. He felt terrible too. He had offered to go to the hospital, but Matt was conscious enough to refuse and tell him it was only for a moment. Severide was skeptical, but he didn't want to argue with him about it. It wouldn't be good for Matt to worry about it now.

When he finished, Matt lifted his head, grimacing at the bitter taste in his mouth, and mumbled with crystallized eyes:

"Sorry".

"Hey, hey. It's okay, it's okay", Kelly replied tenderly, wiping his lips with a tissue.

The older man went to the bathroom to clean the basket and then returned to leave it beside the bed and another glass of water on the nightstand. He was more worried. He was afraid he would keep throwing up everything he drank. If so, he would really have to take him to the hospital. And if it had to be carrying him on his shoulder, then so be it.

"Did you have breakfast today", he asked.

"I just drank a coffee", Matt replied, closing his eyes again and trying to breathe through his nose. They both hated to hear the sound that indicated how stuffy her was.

"Did you get sick?".

"I don't remember. Maybe... I don't know".

Kelly stood behind him and gently shook his shoulder as Matt stood up a little to get some water. After a few minutes, he didn't feel it was heavy, so he drank some more. Then he chose not to risk it and set the glass down halfway.

"I'll bring the medicine for later", Kelly said, getting out of bed. He always left everything in one of the drawers in the dining room so he wouldn't forget. Fortunately, there was no need to buy anything, as they still had pills and some syrup. Matt hated it, but he always took it because he knew it helped even though he preferred pills or powdered medicine a thousand times over.

He left them on his bedside table next to the glass and was about to leave to let the blond sleep peacefully, thinking that maybe he wanted to be quiet. But as he was about to turn away, Matt managed to reach out and grab Kelly's wrist. His brow was slightly furrowed and he began to tug weakly at it. Kelly smiled warmly when she understood: he wanted her to stay with him.

"It's okay, baby", he whispered, lying down behind him to cuddle him.

"You're going to work tomorrow?", Matt mumbled, intertwining his fingers with Kelly's.

"It depends".

"How you feel about what?".

"How you feel". 

"Kelly..."

"Don't try to convince me otherwise. You know you never can when it comes to you".

Casey laughed lightly and brought Severide's hand up to his lips to kiss his knuckles. Kelly felt a surge of love wash over him. It didn't matter if Matt just smiled at him and kissed him any way he could, to him any token he had was a blessing. Wanting to show him something like that too, he reached behind him and lifted up a little kissing his cheek several times, making him laugh.

"How about that?", he asked huskily.

"Nothing. A small token of my love for you".

"Oh, shut up. You'll make me blush", Matt smiled.

"More than you already are, I don't think".

Matt fell asleep peacefully after a few minutes and Kelly lay awake, thinking about how lucky he was in a thousand different ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will insist: the characters are not mine. If they were, I would make Sevasey real or at least give these two more moments than a chat while smoking.


	3. Jealousy

It will sound cliché, but everyone at the station was well aware of Kelly Severide's jealous side. Not possessive, but jealous. There was an abysmal difference.

In the first few years since they started working together as Lieutenants, before they started dating, it had escaped no one's notice how the silver-haired man would get when he noticed Dawson's honeyed way with Casey. There was clear annoyance in his gaze and then he could get to acting distant with the woman, but with the blond he acted friendly, as if nothing had happened minutes before, but no one suspected it was a crush, but a kind of jealousy because they were close friends, as if Severide's lone wolf image only lacked Matt's company on many occasions. It was clear how insecure he felt when it came to Casey, and the blond found him terribly charming. Not to mention when they made the relationship official. 

When Casey was promoted, Severide couldn't help but feel a slight pang of jealousy, but not because of the promotion itself, but because he knew what a reputation the superiors had on and off station. He suddenly feared that people who knew nothing about their relationship would try anything with Matt, and he knew himself well enough to know that he wouldn't be able to contain himself if something like that happened.

He knew his blond would never be unfaithful. The insecurity was his: Matt was an amazing person, it would be stupid not to grow to have some kind of affection for him. Kelly thought about it on many, many occasions.

At the bar, even if it didn't seem like it because he was mostly alone or with the squad, Matt had a high degree of charm and attracted the attention of both women and men, who were looking for a companion or just a hot moment when they left the place. As was always the case, they weren't together all the time, but the brief moment they were together was enough for each to think about leaving Molly's quickly and going for a hot night at the apartment. Obviously, they didn't, because they also wanted to enjoy a nice time with their friends and colleagues. That wasn't going to stop Severide from noticing on countless occasions the way some women would lean over the table Matt was at, showing cleavage, or the way burly men would almost tower over their guy, talking in a deep voice and in a very suggestive manner. Casey was very perceptive, but when he was drunk, his senses could slow down considerably, to the point where a person could come right out and tell him they wanted sex and he would take a moment to process their words and refuse.

Besides, everyone knew how protective Severide was of Casey and many had already witnessed the times the Lieutenant had come over to cut off a situation where Matt was too drunk to concisely deny about not wanting anything to do with anyone. Herrmann had joked that he would start downselling Casey and Mouch always shook his head and said that in his day it was simpler and claimed that they had never had that kind of problem when it came to a couple; according to him, 'the problems' lay in the fact that no one jumped right on another person to ask for a hot night, but instead started with drinks and smooth talk. And Otis said bluntly, "Mouch, I know you're old, but you really should couple a little bit with the new era. Even Trudy doesn't get that lost in it."

On this particular night, the Lieutenant felt a pang of jealousy when he saw a guy put his hand on Matt's shoulder, who was already well past his prime. He avoided acting rashly, as his guy had asked him on many occasions not to, because that way he ran the risk of asking for trouble if things got out of hand. He sidled up to them and tried to ignore them. Casey would reject him as he did the others in time, when he managed to coordinate the words. It was always like that and later, on the way home, he would tell him how he did it and the reaction of the person he rejected. That part always made them laugh, because the blond would ramble a lot before he got to that part, but that was the best part.

Severide looked at his two companions that night, Cruz and Brett, who watched their Captain every now and then, intrigued by what might happen. Joe was the most amused by the situation. He was always amused by the way the silver-haired man would get when he was jealous and the paramedic found it cute, since it never went any further. I mean, Severide never dragged Casey out of a place just because he caught a person's eye or told him he was going to leave just because, leaving him feeling bad or guilty. No, he used to send looks or even snort, knowing that no one would stand a chance with the Captain.

However, both she and Cruz noticed something... strange. The guy removed his hand from Casey's shoulder when he made it clear that he didn't want anything, that he was happily engaged and already, but he didn't pull away from him.

"Lieutenant", Cruz uttered, worried that things were going to go further.

Severide turned and upon seeing them, he almost stood up to stand up to the guy. However, Brett stopped him, pointing something out to him: that burly guy laughed softly and took a pen out of his coat to write on a napkin his number. Even at a distance of at least five feet and with all the noise, they heard him say to Casey:

"If you get tired of your current engagement, call me. I'll always be available for a beauty like you".

Severide squeezed his bottle so hard that the other two feared it might break in his hand. Casey, a little lost at what had happened, stood awkwardly and approached his partner.

"I'm sorry", he apologized first to Cruz and Brett for rushing toward Kelly. Then he asked: "Can we go now?".

"Of course, baby", Kelly replied, standing up and tossing some bills on the table. "See you tomorrow".

They said goodbye to everyone and headed to Casey's truck. Casey was in no condition to drive, so Severide took the keys from him and told him to get into the passenger seat. Without protest, he did. When they both got in, Kelly noticed that Matt still had the napkin with the man's number on it. He reached out for it and when he did, he blew his nose with it and threw it out the window.

"Throwing paper into the street is wrong", Matt mumbled, leaning against the window.

"There are circumstances that call for it", Kelly chimed in.

"...That doesn't make sense", Matt pointed out, frowning still with his eyes closed.

Severide shook his head and drove back to his apartment. He wouldn't deny it: he was upset. But not at Matt. He could never be mad at him in any way, least of all for something he wasn't responsible for, anyway. Please, surely he wasn't to blame for possessing such charm. It wasn't his fault that this guy had tried to hit on him even when he told him he was already in a relationship and it was fine. He hated feeling that way, because he told himself that maybe he didn't trust Matt as much as he said he did. Of course he did! He would never question his boy's love. Again, the problem and the insecurities were on him. After all, it was he who had a huge list of romances and one-night stands all over Chicago. He was the one who had always agreed to dates with lots of people and casual encounters. God, what if Matt thought about that a lot and I thought he was still in those footsteps?

When they arrived and went up to the apartment, Kelly went straight to the bedroom and Matt followed. The Captain had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing when he saw the older man lying on the bed face down and with his arms under his pillow, burying his face in it.

"Kelly...", he uttered, running a hand down his back, the way he knew, always relaxed him.

"I'm fine", he breathed out, not pulling away from Matt's touch.

"I wasn't going to keep the number", the blond assured, still trying not to laugh. His partner really could behave like a child on many occasions.

"I know, Matt", the older man sighed, resting his chin on the pillow. "It wasn't because of you. I just don't like people trying to hit on you."

The blond stifled a laugh and practically laid on top of his boyfriend.

"So, are you really jealous, then? You, Kelly Severide?", the younger boy teased, resting his chin on top of his head.

"Maybe... So what?"

  
"It's adorable that you think other people could compete with you".

Severide avoided looking at him, but a smile formed on his lips at Matt's words. He should have thought better of it. His baby would never do anything with the intention of hurting him. Come on, Matt was pretty drunk when they left the bar, it was even logical that he's almost forgotten he had that guy's number.

"You're drunk," Kelly declared, turning to get him off of his body. Matt rolled onto his side of the bed and lay on his back, arms flexed upward, as if he were carrying a box.

"Hey", Matt mumbled, trying to keep his eyes open to see him.

"Tell me".

"Did you really blow your nose with the napkin that had the number on it?", he asked, laughing softly.

"What can I say, you can put to good use what you think is useless".

Matt laughed freely when he heard him. Even drunk, he could think well of the jealous part of Kelly and still found her very charming. But the older man now looked very thoughtful.

"What's the matter?" inquired Matt, finding enough strength not to fall asleep.

"Nothing, it's just... Matt, did you ever think about whether I'm still on the same path I was on a few years ago, before we started dating?".

Casey sat up a little to lean on his arms and said:

"I've never thought about it. We've both matured, Kelly. I haven't thought about it for a moment, I assure you."

Matt's voice trailed off as he spoke, but those few words were enough to calm the older man.

"Go to sleep, Matt," he exclaimed, resting his hand on his forehead to get him to lie back down.

"How boring... Let's do something better..."

"We'd better fix that tomorrow when you're sober. I don't want you doing something you won't remember later", Kelly exclaimed, smoothing his hair back.

Casey practically crawled over the blankets to hug Kelly and bury his face in the older man's chest, snoring softly. Severide smiled and kissed his forehead.

It wouldn't be easy for him not to be jealous of those who tried to hit on Matt, but he would always be reassured to know that his baby would always stop them. Immediately, he felt his emotions calm down.

The next day, Matt had a bad hangover. His eyes felt very sensitive to light and his body felt incredibly heavy. He was in the kitchen, drinking a strong coffee after taking an aspirin. Kelly came out of the room, smiling mockingly.

"Remind me not to overdo it with the alcohol again", Matt requested quietly, feeling his own voice hammering in his head as he spoke.

"I'll try, but I have a feeling you won't listen to me", Severide teased, stopping beside him to kiss his cheek. "Are you sure you want to go to work? You don't look so good."

"I don't want to miss a shift because of a hangover. I'll get over it".

"Fine, but if I see you make a single gesture, I'll have Boden make you come back here".

"Yeah, yeah, I got it".

Before leaving, Kelly kissed Matt quickly, feeling the fresh taste of toothpaste. The blond was stunned for a second as Kelly winked cheekily at him.

"You coming?", he asked wryly, slowly pulling away.

"I'm going to kill him", Matt muttered, shaking his head in amusement.


	4. Scar

Adrenaline. It was the first thing Kelly felt when the madman he'd seen behind a house he'd set on fire that morning and escaped after attacked him when he intercepted him at the back of the bar. He couldn't quite make out what was going on, he just knew that Matt and Boden were carrying him to his boss's car and that his partner was pressing something against the wound on his face, which must have been deep and horrible. He could hear Matt's desperate voice telling him that they were going to the hospital, while Boden's car was moving jerkily due to the speed at which he was driving. 

He could barely process everything that had happened. The only thing going through his head at that moment was how everything could change in a matter of seconds.

He had helped Stella with some garbage bags and none of them had noticed a shadow hovering around, intent on his every move and seething with rage. Severide, as he had heard it called, had spoiled his plan. That house was to be burned, was to be made ashes.

He heard them talking:

"You know, I don't remember asking you for help", Stella joked, opening the container and putting down one of the bags.

"I always help a lady in distress and, obviously, my dear boyfriend", Severide replied, laughing softly.

"Oh, right. I almost forgot Matt Casey can't miss", she blurted out cheekily.

"What can I say, I'm a good boyfriend".

"Yeah, right...", Stella laughed. "I'll see if there's more stuff and then look for the box with broken glasses before Herrmann sees it. I don't want to have to pay for them again".

When she left, Kelly walked over to the dumpster and set his bags down. He shook off his hands and decided to wait for his friend. He looked to his right side, where the aisle overlooked the dark street, and there he saw a hooded guy standing in front of him. He didn't get a good look at his face, but he did notice his hands in his pockets and the fact that they seemed to be holding something tightly. It couldn't be anything good and it didn't take him long to deduce that it was the guy he saw that morning; the idiot was wearing the same clothes. Kelly stood up straight and lifted his head a little, using his figure to try to push the guy away or at least make him talk. He had seen him from a window on the second floor, going out the backyard of the house with two cans of gasoline or some flammable liquid and alerted the cops, who failed to catch him, but that guy knew who had ratted him out and who had been at _his_ fire. There was no one in the house, since it was about to be sold, but that did not change anything, it did not change that there could have been people affected by the smoke or that the houses next door could have also caught fire.

"Hey, man, what the fuck?", he spat harshly.

"You ruined everything today", the guy mumbled, barely raising his head a little so his eyes could be seen by the light of the place.

"What the hell are you talking about?".

"It was a house for sale, there was no one there", he hissed.

"And just for that it should be burned down", the lieutenant spat sarcastically.

"Nobody deserved that house! It was only in the way if nobody lived there", roared the stranger.

The guy raised his head and quickly pulled out a knife from his pocket. As he was already expecting it, Severide managed to dodge the first attack with a single movement, making that madman fall on the way. He hadn't counted on his determination to hurt him, so he didn't see it coming when she lunged at him and tried to plunge the knife into his face. Kelly held his wrist tightly, narrowly missing the point of the knife going through his eye by a few inches. He tried to turn a little so he could get him off her, but even being so strong, Kelly was having trouble doing it. This guy was completely insane, so it would be easy to deduce that he couldn't even manage to control himself for a brief moment, which would have given him the upper hand. But no, he was determined to hurt him for messing up what he thought was right or some shit like that. There was no time to think about it, the police would let them know all about it later when they arrested him. Now he had to think about protecting himself and preventing him from hurting anyone else who tried to mess with him if he saw them fighting.

Managing to muster considerable strength, Kelly bent his opponent's hand, bringing the razor's edge sideways to his face.With a shove, Severide managed to throw him backwards, causing his head to impact squarely on the ground and briefly stun him. The only thing he couldn't know was that the guy's anger was seriously escalating. Had he noticed that he wasn't even close to losing consciousness, perhaps he would have moved faster to cut him down. Maybe if he hadn't been confident that brief moment, it wouldn't have happened. But it was too late to regret it.

He rolled over on his side to get to his feet and then, as he was about to face the subject again, he heard a loud shout:

"Kelly!", it was Stella. 

On simple instinct, he turned to her and shouted:

"Call the police!".

Had he had a button to go back in time and not turned around, neither of them would have hesitated to press it.

By the time he turned back to the subject, he only had time to see him make his attack. The edge of the small blade cut across his face, from just above his left eyebrow, passing over it and his eye and almost reaching the corner of his lip. From the quick movement, it looked like it had cut his face like butter. The adrenaline of the moment seemed to be protecting his body and mind from the pain, because he knew he had to stop the criminal before he attacked again. He didn't even feel the warm blood trickling down the middle of his face, but he knew it was there.

"Ew... Gross. Who's going to want a face like that now?", the guy spat, ready to make another attack.

Before he could figure out what he was doing, Kelly jumped on him and punched him repeatedly in the face. His own blood fell on the fucker's face as his knuckles met his nose, mouth, cheek.... Whatever it was that could do him terrible harm. He knew he had just ruined a part of her face and her words had been the second last straw for him. The first was to have endangered the lives of more people, he didn't care if he was insane or if he had a psychiatric history. Nothing justified what he did.

He felt two people grab his arms to pull him away from him, but that was not enough for his foot to meet the guy's crotch. He kicked him with such force that it was heard and he was sure that if the situation were not like that, many would have even laughed. He heard the scream of horror from one of the girls as he watched Cruz and Otis cut down the guy who tried to get to his feet and escape.

Despite this and seeing that everyone was there, the adrenaline still did not disappear and the pain did not invade his face, so he was not able to scream or complain, he just put a hand to his cheek and saw all the blood that covered it. He looked at his squad and could only make out fear and horror in their eyes.

"Matt?", he muttered, stunned, when he saw the pallor on his partner's face.

The blond took off his coat and used it to cover the wound on his face in an attempt to stop the blood, which was still flowing alarmingly. Stella had already called the police, they would be there soon. There was no time to wait for an ambulance. Boden and Matt restrained him and carried him to the chief's car at the same time he called Med to let them know they were on their way with an assault victim. He briefly described the injury and then drove on at high speed.

He couldn't think of anything but the pain he should be feeling, but he just couldn't bring himself to complain. Had he hurt her throat too and not noticed? No. If so, Matt should have covered her neck with something, too, but he didn't. Was it the shock? Probably. He was breathing very slowly and his visible eye was beginning to close. He heard Matt's desperate voice telling him to stay awake, that they were close to the Med. He wanted to reply that he was trying and had no intention of falling asleep, but his mind was not responding well to his demands. Only a small part was aware that he should resist, but the other was refusing to listen.

"Chief, how much further?", cried Casey, trembling.

"Just one street!".

Boden turned at full speed and in less than ten seconds, they reached the Med. They pulled Kelly out of the car and rushed him into the hospital. Medics moved with lightning speed to attend to him. Matt didn't remove his coat from Kelly's face until Will pulled it away and they put Kelly on a gurney to take him to emergency. The Lieutenant's face was shining in blood and his eyes showed how disoriented he was. The worst part? He hadn't complained about the pain. Was he still processing everything else or was the adrenaline still dominating his body even though he was lying on a stretcher? No one was sure. The blond was about to follow them, but it was his boss who stopped him, knowing that Matt would only be bitter when he was denied access to the room where Kelly's wound would be treated.

For hours they had no news. No one came to tell them anything, not even the slightest thing. How was it possible that something like this could happen to a person like Kelly? It was worse than a nightmare. Her partner happened to be one of those people who have the misfortune of being involved in terrible situations. At that moment, he was hoping that the guy would try to escape so that the police would be forced to shoot him. He didn't care if it was in the leg, in the back or directly in the head. He just wanted him to suffer or die directly. Casey felt an anger he had never felt before. He thought about finding the guy himself and finishing smashing his face in. His posture tensed all at once and the squeeze on his shoulder Boden offered didn't help him.He didn't push him away, but it didn't help him calm down either, not even when his boss led him to the chairs in the waiting room.

The others arrived a while later, upset and asking many questions. Wallace made him stop and told them they didn't know anything yet. No doctor, physician or nurse came over to give them any news. Brett had small tears in her eyes and Cruz gently held her close to his body with one arm, not hiding his own concern. Otis ran both hands over his face, muttering words in Russian (surely curses of all kinds), Herrmann, Mouch, Capp and Tony sat heavily, trying not to let the uncertainty get the better of them and make them believe the worst, and Stella and Gabby started talking to each other. Apparently, the tallest of all the girls was feeling very guilty about having screamed when she came out with the box and distracted Severide. She had done it out of pure instinct when she saw the scene, but she realized it was stupid. And Gabby was telling her that it wasn't her fault in any way. Hearing this, Casey finally turned his head and saw Stella's forlorn look. Then, he found the strength to stand up and say plainly:

"Kidd, come here a minute".

She nodded and swallowed saliva as they both moved a little away from each other.

"Casey, I'm really sorry. If I hadn't yelled or if I had done something.... I didn't mean to...", she rambled, unable to look at him.

"Kidd", Casey stopped her somewhat sharply, but without reproach, "it wasn't you who had the knife or who attacked him. The only one to blame here is that damned lunatic. Don't blame yourself anymore".

He shook her shoulder kindly and she nodded lowering her head. She didn't look so convinced, but at least she stopped blaming herself. They went back to the others. Casey sat next to Boden and Stella sat with Gabby. They weren't able to talk about anything. They just stood around waiting until a doctor or whoever told them Kelly was okay.

And all at once, it fell on Matt like a bag of rocks: the scar that Kelly would have on his face for years or maybe the rest of his life. He had seen the wound for himself. It was deep, the blade of the knife must have been sharpened before the attack, because there wasn't much chance he could give him such a wound with something dull. He hadn't caught a glimpse of whether it had hurt his eye as well. He didn't care what Kelly looked like, but the blond knew his partner would be shocked when he saw his injured face. Not out of vanity, but because he knew him and he knew that scar would remind him of an attack he couldn't defend himself from like he always had. He was going to need a lot of support when he got out.

Finally, Will came in sighing and seeing everyone stood up and moved a little closer to hear what he had to say: they had disinfected the wound and given him seventeen stitches. His eye had been saved, although the eyelid received a cut that did not reach the eyeball, but did cut the thin tissue a little. He was awake and conscious.

Everyone gasped softly and almost started asking a lot of questions, but Matt was the first to step forward and ask if he could see him. Then Will's face tightened in concern and he replied:

"That's another inconvenience, no longer physical, but rather, emotional."

"Why, what's wrong?" blurted out Herrmann.

"He doesn't want anyone to see him."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Even if the medical staff had already cleaned his face and tended to his wound, Severide still had the feeling that the warm blood covered half of his face completely. The anesthesia must be wearing off, because he felt something strange on his cheek and left eye. He was sitting on the gurney, with his legs stretched out and the blankets covering them. The lights were off at his request. Will and April had tried to convince him that they should make sure the wound was okay, but he asked sarcastically, "How is it going to be okay?" They could only see her before the Lieutenant told them that he wanted to be alone and to turn off the light when they got out. His shirt and coat had been stained with blood, so he had to wait until someone from the station brought him clothes from his house, as Will had told him that he would let the others know. However, he barely managed to hear his own voice asking that no one enter the room.

He was not yet fully aware of what had happened; I mean, he couldn't believe it. Strangely, like other times he was in the hospital, he did not feel tired or dizzy. In fact, he didn't think he felt anything but the discomfort of his injured face. He could barely make out the voices passing in front of his bedroom door and the beating of his heart. It was as if his mind had disconnected from everything. His left eye throbbed a little even though he could make out some things thanks to the little light coming through a window. Although it was night, the moonlight offered plenty. He closed his right eye to check the other's damage and realized that most of everything was blurry. He sighed and opened his eye again. The image of everyone seeing him in that way full of horror and fear returned to his head, as if it were the only thing that his memory kept before he lost his bearings.  
  
He saw them there, stunned and pale. He saw Matt, almost falling over and then pulling his coat off and pressing it against his face. And after being dragged into Boden's car, he couldn't remember anything else.

Only when he woke up and the doctors explained what had happened did he briefly disconnect. He didn't want to look at himself in any way. He imagined how he must see himself, but doing it directly was something else entirely.

God, how was he going to look at his colleagues now? How was he going to explain to his parents that he had been attacked and that he had not been able to defend himself? Or worse, that he had been distracted and therefore, he was hurt by his own recklessness. That mark would surely remain forever on his face. Perhaps not so noticeably, but there would always be the clear mark that something serious had happened to him.

He imagined himself in the darkness of his apartment without allowing Matt to enter and see him. That madman could be right about something: if it wasn't out of compassion, how could he love him now? How would Matt look at him and not feel uncomfortable about seeing a scar of who knows how many inches?

Many firefighters had received serious injuries on the job, but theirs was not the case. He didn't get that wound in the middle of the fire by saving a victim or trying to escape from a place about to explode. No, he had just been mugged by a fucking psycho and had barely been able to defend himself.

An hour or two later, April came in with a purse and was about to turn on the light, but Kelly's cold voice stopped her.

"Do not do it. I do not want you to see me like that".

"Kelly ..."

"Don't. Please".

"Do not do it. Please".

She sighed with pity and left the door ajar so she could move around the room.

“Matt brought you clothes. Tomorrow you can go. We will just make sure the wound shows no signs of infection and you will go. "

Even though she didn't get a good look at him, she knew that Severide had nodded.

"April ...", he uttered mechanically.

"Yes?".

"Do you have a black kerchief or scarf?" Kelly asked.

“There is one that they forgot a month and a half ago and that nobody claimed. Why?"

"I need her".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As April said, the next day, Kelly signed the discharge after Will reviewed his wound and explained well how he should clean it and how often, in addition to leaving him a notice that if he noticed that he began to become infected or raised a fever, he should go to see them. The Lieutenant had a black scarf covering half of his face. One part passed behind his neck and the other over his head until it covered the wound. Nobody told him anything about that, only that he made sure that the cloth was not in direct contact with the wound so that it did not cause friction and, also, in case he released pus or blood, so that it did not stick to him. The stitches would be removed in a few days, so he had to take good care of that wound until then. 

After that, Kelly left the hospital and spotted his boy leaning on the hood of his car, anxiously waiting for him. When Matt saw him, he exhaled, relieved, and stepped forward to hug him almost desperately. He didn't say anything about the scarf on his face. Severide slowly wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close to him. He also did not speak until they parted.

"I want to go home," he exclaimed automatically. 

“Yes, of course, darling. Come on, let's go ”.

The return trip was silent. At all times, Kelly held the scarf so that it did not fall and expose her injured face. He did not want his partner to see the horrible wound he had nor did he want to see the grimace or gesture he would make if he did. All he did all this time was stare out the window, wondering if some people could actually see him despite the tinted glass. He felt Casey's gaze on the back of his neck, but wasn't able to tell him not to look at him. He went from making him feel bad about his insecurity. He didn't speculate on how things could be going forward, but a part of him was convinced it would be quite complicated.

Arriving at the building, Matt parked his truck, parking as slowly as he could so as not to disturb his boyfriend's trance state. The older man hadn't said a word since they left the hospital, which he understood and at no time did he think about claiming him. He was very sorry to see him like this. He could almost feel the emotions that were invading the Lieutenant at that precise moment: anger, dejection, pain, bewilderment ... The list was not short and they had all come to fall down on him.

They got off after Kelly made sure no one was passing by. When the wind picked up, he held the scarf tighter to his face, keeping her from moving. Again, they didn't exchange a word when they got into the elevator to get to floor. Kelly avoided seeing his reflection in the elevator mirrors, because if he did, he would collapse. Matt just wanted to hold his hand and tell him that they would get over it together and that nothing she felt for him had changed because of her injury. But he did not, because he was aware that the older would reject him. He hated that they showed compassion towards him when something that he considered his fault occurred. Casey and Boden could tell him in a thousand different ways that what happened wasn't his fault, and yet Severide wouldn't believe it and would insist that he was.

Back at the apartment, the first thing Kelly asked for was:

"Matt, I need you to cover the mirrors".

"Kelly, you don't have to ..." the blonde tried, moving closer to him to put a hand on his shoulder.

Kelly took a few steps away from him, rejecting his compassion.

"Matt, please. i don't want to see me. It disgusts me enough to imagine the injury, I don't want to have to confirm me how it is”, Kelly muttered, turning her back to him. “I'll be in the room. When you go, don't turn on the light, okay?".

Without looking back, he went to the room he shared with Matt. Had he turned for a brief moment, he would have seen the utter sadness that engulfed the youngest. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For the next week, Kelly did not want to stay and get depressed in the apartment, but he also refused to leave the place without the scarf on his face or to go in Matt's truck, so they each went in their respective vehicle. And at the station, he spent most of his time in his own office with the door closed and the curtains drawn. He never took off his scarf at any time, except when they arrived at a scene. In that case, he put on the oxygen mask at lightning speed and entered in front of everyone as he always did. In that case, he evidently no longer thought about his injured face or anything other than saving the victims. It was one of the few moments when he forgot about his regrets and managed to focus fully on saving lives and making sure his entire squad returned home. But when that was over, he would go back to the same thing as before: he would lock himself in his office and wait for the next call and then at the end of the shift. He had rejected everyone's compassion and empathy, even Stella and Herrmann. He didn't need that, just to be left alone.

Boden, knowing that Severide was reluctant to leave his office at the moment, would go to his own office if he had to say something to him. As the boss already thought, it was no use trying to make him understand that the assault was not his fault and that he need not feel ashamed of his injury. Kelly snorted and replied that he had always known how to defend himself against him and that the damned injury was the result of his own recklessness. Although that psychopath shouldn't have assaulted him, he should have defended himself better. It was obvious that he felt humiliated for being hurt like that.

He asked his boss to leave him alone, which the man respected. Kelly must have a lot to think about yet. An assault never disappeared overnight, they had to be patient until the Lieutenant wanted to talk about it properly.

In the break room, they avoided talking too much about the subject, both for the precaution that he passed by and if Casey was present. They could tell they were worried and felt bad for him, but they never dared to say that he was exaggerating because of his injury. Nobody really believed it and they made sure that visitors from other stations didn't talk about it. Herrmann had already shut down several firefighters from other shifts for murmuring about it and starting to make false theories and rumors. That had always happened, but most of all those times, they had been ignored and everything returned to normal as long as it did not reach the ears of the other station chiefs. But in this case, it was something different: perhaps the bosses would not come because of that, but rumors could considerably affect those who had a notorious mark, be it physical or emotional. In Severide's case, he had both, so rumors could easily bring him down. They did not know if they would make him want to shut himself in even more or if they would unleash that fury he felt towards the subject that cut his face, but what they were convinced was that they did not want to find out in any way. 

On his side, Matt felt very helpless for not knowing how to help his partner. Ever since he asked him to cover the mirrors in the apartment and when they were together to turn off the lights or avoid touching the scarf to his face so as not to move her, Casey never knew the correct way to discuss the matter with him. He wanted to help him, really, but if Kelly didn't talk to him, he wasn't sure what else he could do then. One option was to bring up the subject directly and try to get Kelly to open up even if it was through sarcasm. Matt knew him better than anyone to know exactly what he meant when he used the sarcastic side of his as a defense. And the second option was to leave him until he wanted to talk. Immediately, he dismissed it. He was not going to let his lover lock himself in his pain and sink. No way. If that was, Matt he was willing to extend her hand and wait until he accepted it. There was no question.  


Severide might be stubborn and appear unconcerned, but he was more sentimental than he looked. Casey knew it even better than his own parents did. And he wouldn't let that affect him in any way. 

Suddenly, the noise of a rather loud argument coming from the toilets made them look up. Matt, Herrmann and Mouch went to see what happened.

Meanwhile, in the bathrooms, Kelly was finishing disinfecting his wound in one of the cubicles. When he walked in, he refused to raise his head to the mirror and quickly shut himself in. It didn't take him more than a minute to do it. He was planning to end that and wait a moment before leaving to make sure no one was near him. However, the noise of an argument brought him out after awkwardly adjusting her scarf. In fact, two from a previous shift were arguing about something related to a call and which idea had been better. Kelly was willing to get out if it weren't for the two of them starting to push each other. He tried to stop them by making himself known, but they were too angry with each other to hear it even when they were almost next to her, by the sinks. The taller and more stocky of the two pushed the one who was a little squat and the latter, trying to hold on to something, caught on to the scarf that Kelly was wearing. By reflex, the Lieutenant leaned back when he felt the tug, but he did not take the scarf with him, but it ended up in the hands of the other firefighter and him right in front of the first mirror. He turned abruptly and took a step back when he checked in the mirror that the wound was indeed horrible. It started at his brow and reached almost to the left tip of his lips. The stitches only made it worse and his eyelid was hardly lucky that it hadn't been cut in its entirety. It did not appear to be infected, but the thought of the mark he would have on his face when the stitches were removed from her made him nauseous.

He looked to the side of him and noticed the horror with which the two who had fought before were looking at him. Even before he could move, the bathroom door swung open and Severide turned to the three who walked in and stopped short at the sight of his face. He gasped when he went through what he was trying so hard to avoid.

"We heard the fight, just ..." Matt began, not sure what else to say.

Mouch opened and closed his mouth several times, unsure whether or not he would be wise to say something. Herrmann blurted out "Oh my god" so softly they could hardly hear him. But Kelly paid no attention to anyone other than Matt. His gaze reflected only pain and shock. Turning around, the Lieutenant noticed that the taller firefighter seemed to gag when he saw his wound and the other tried at all costs not to look at him. Suddenly, he felt incredibly vulnerable. He didn't even mention the loss of his scarf, he just took it off the chubby fireman and went out the back, covering half his face with a part, olympically ignoring Matt's anguished call.

God, how he wanted to disappear. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the evening, Kelly did not want to go to Molly’s and let Matt know that if he wanted to go, he would not be offended. Again, he wanted to be alone that night. But Matt refused to do it. A little over a week had now passed, and Kelly urgently needed to talk. He would avoid telling him and try to get there before he went to bed. If they had to stay awake looking at each other's faces until one would be, well, it would, but Matt was not willing to let Kelly continue to lock himself in his pain, less now that he had seen her wound even though the older had tried to avoid it.

When he got to the apartment, the lights were off, except for the one in the kitchen. That light allowed her to see the figure of Kelly sitting on the sofa, who was startled when he heard the door open and saw his partner enter. Then he exhaled in clear annoyance and blurted out:

"Don't tell me: you felt sorry and did not want to leave me alone."

"What? Kelly, what are you saying?”, Asked Matt, puzzled. He sat down next to his slowly.

“Matt, you don't have to deny it anymore. I know you only stayed here because you feel sorry for me, for seeing me this way”, he emphasized, pointing to the covered side of his face. “I'm serious, you don't have to stay if you don't want to. I'm used to loneliness more than you think ”.

"Kelly, at no point did I feel that kind of pity for what happened to you", Matt assured, still surprised by Kelly's words. "Why do you think she would leave you?"

"You don't get it, do you?", Kelly snapped. "Look at me! How can you feel anything not other than disgust for a wound that I have on the side of my face?"

Then, he got it.

"Kelly ... did you think I'd leave you just because your face changed?", Matt muttered, unable to believe that.

"Seriously, Matt. Of so many adventures I had in my past before we started dating, how many do you think were because of my personality and how many do you think were because of my appearance? Do the math, although I don't think you will be surprised".

“In an adventure you will always pay attention to the appearance of the people, but if the relationship is formal, it goes beyond that. Do you really think I started dating you just because you had an attractive face?".

Severide shook his head slowly, not looking at Matt. 

Matt wasn't sure what to answer at the time. Yes, he had always considered him attractive, but his love with him never happened only on that side. He loved Kelly as a person, for her jovial personality and protective side of him, among many other things that only he knew. Nothing that he felt for him had fallen solely on his physical appearance.

"Kelly, are you listening to yourself? Nothing you say makes sense”, Matt pointed out.

“That lunatic told me that no one could love such a face. What if he was right? If not out of compassion, who is going to want to have anything to do with me?".

"I want to stay with you", Matt assured, raising his voice a little. "What happened hasn't changed that".

Kelly gently shook his head again.

"How long is it going to take until you realize that I will no longer physically attract you?", he asked almost in a small voice. He was feeling vulnerable again and he hated him.

"It won't happen," Matt denied, frowning. "Kelly, I love you. What I feel for you goes beyond your appearance".

The older man exhaled slowly and shakily and dared to see his partner with his single visible eye. There was only sincerity in his gaze. Sincerity and the clear love he was declaring to her at that moment. But he couldn't help but feel bad about his appearance. He felt that one of the few good things he had was his appearance. Although he came to be arrogant, he never thought of seriously bragging about having a good enough personality to be considered 'the best'. His attractiveness was what gave him a piece of he confidence. With women he had always worked for him and sometimes even made some men buy him drinks, but with them he never came to anything more than casual chat and free drinks. He now he couldn't imagine doing the same thing as before if he wasn't with Matt. And for that reason, he could not imagine himself on a date with the blonde in the streets of Chicago, walking among people as if only the two of them existed in the world. If he were to go out with a scarf on his face, it was obvious that it would attract attention. They could no longer go so unnoticed or pretend that no one else was around them. And of course, there would never be a shortage of young children who ask inappropriate questions. That would probably be the last straw.

"You're locked in again", Matt exclaimed, managing to put a hand on his shoulder.

“I'm getting too many ideas, yes. But I doubt if any are wrong”, Kelly replied, not leaving Matt's touch. It was already a breakthrough.

“You can't really know. Yes, things can change, but between us I can assure you that it will not be like that".

With great gentleness, he turned Kelly's face so that he was looking at him and then, slowly so as not to disturb him, tried to remove the scarf to see his wound. The Lieutenant pulled away a little and almost held Matt's hand to avoid it. But at the thought of his words, he pulled his hand away from him and gestured to let him know that he allowed him to remove it. Matt smiled softly and lifted the scarf to slide it from behind his neck and then reveal his scar. The dim light in the kitchen allowed him to see his wound. Yes, if someone else saw him, it was very likely that he would be shocked or disconcerted. It was not the case with Matt. He smiled a bit sadly when he saw it and then moved forward to kiss her left cheek, being careful with the points. He didn't want to touch them and cause him any pain.

Kelly barely flinched at the contact. It was the last thing she expected. Did he really not feel disgusted or uncomfortable with his injury? He felt Matt's lips move up her cheekbone and then down until they met hims. He felt the sincerity of that gesture the moment his lips met. He realized that Matt had never lied to him and that he wasn't doing it at the time. He loved him, and Kelly loved him too. He loved not feeling judged and being able to share his insecurities with an amazing person like Matt, empathetic and understanding. He sometimes felt that Matt was too much for him and that he deserved better than someone who had a huge list of adventures in the middle of Chicago. But on the other hand, he didn't want to lose him. He was the best person he was lucky enough to meet. It was all he lacked.

As they parted, Matt stroked his fingertip over his wound, being careful not to catch the stitches with his fingernails, and said:

“Many times, the scars are evidence of all the struggles that we must face, internal or external. Or even memories that we must face daily and not allow that to bring us down. This wound would never make me think that you were reckless or that you were weak, but quite the opposite. You got it for doing your job, for doing the right thing. No one will ever have the right to judge you”.

With small unshed tears, Kelly dropped his head on Matt's chest, feeling suddenly tired. He felt a bit insecure being with the blonde without the scarf, but at least he knew that he didn't care what he looked like. He didn't care if a large scar was invading her face. He only cared that he was okay.

"Thank you," murmured the older one.

"it's okay, Kelly," Matt whispered, feeling a lump in his throat at the sound of Kelly's contracted voice. "I promise, I will always be here". 


	5. Tell me why

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long story short: When our guys, Casey, Severide, Otis, Cruz and, our special guest, Jimmy Borelli, get broody about their relationships gone wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I really had to do this XD.
> 
> The song is by Backstreet Boys, 'I want it that way'. And the mental image, well, I was inspired by the animated video of FNAFHS, which has this song in English and Spanish. You can search for it at Youtube ;)
> 
> In a few hours I will upload the next 'Sevasey Moment'.

Yeah-eh-heah

 **Severide about Renee** : You are, my fire,  
The one, desire,  
Believe, when I say  
I want it that way.

 **Casey about Dawson** : But we, are two worlds apart,  
Can't reach to your heart,  
When you say,  
I want it that way.

 **Casey** : Tell me why...

 **All** : Ain't nothin' but a heartache.

 **Casey** : Tell me why...

 **All** : Ain't nothin' but a mistake...  
Tell me why.

 **Casey** : I never wanna hear you say,  
I want it that way.

 **Otis about Katie** : Am I, your fire?  
Your one, desire,  
Yes I know, it's too late,  
But I want it that way.

 **Otis** : Tell me why...

 **All** :Ain't nothin' but a heartache.

 **Otis** : Tell me why...

 **All** : Ain't nothin' but a mistake.

 **Otis** : Tell me why...

 **All** : I never wanna hear you say,  
I want it that way.

 **Cruz about Brett** : Now I can see that we've fallen apart,  
From the way that it used to be, Yeah.

 **Cruz and Borelli** : No matter the distance,  
I want you to know,  
That deep down inside of me...

 **Borelli about Chili** : You are, my fire,  
The one, desire,  
You are...

 **Cruz** : You are...

 **Severide** : You are...

 **Otis** : You are...

 **Casey** : Don't wanna hear you say!

 **All** : Ain't nothin' but a heartache,  
Ain't nothin' but a mistake,  
 **Severide** : (Don't wanna hear you say),  
I never wanna hear you say,  
I want it that way

 **Borelli** : Cause I want it that way.

They all looked at each other smiling at this long-overdue release. 

"Are they finished?" asked Boden, as he and the others looked at them as if they were crazy.

"Yes, chief," they all replied, in high spirits.

"Okay... Back to work now. And...don't ever do this again. Please."


	6. Abuse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be honest: I don't get along very well with Gabby's character. Maybe in this One-Shot I exaggerate her character quite a bit, but... it's necessary (? 
> 
> Warning: kind of psychological and physical abuse. And there's a briefly implied Sevasey, but it's not 'official' this time; that's for next time.

Matt Casey had never been an aggressive person in any way. The only times he had actually gone so far as to physically attack someone was only because a person he cared deeply about was in the way, whether it was Hallie, Gabby, Severide, or anyone around him that he cared too much about. They were all basically, because as they knew, Casey would always put the greater good before his own. Therefore, given the kind of family he had, it could be difficult to recognize what was wrong when it was done exclusively to him. He was no fool, his head was warped into thinking "mistreatment" given the marriage his parents had, where Greg could be physically and mentally aggressive to everyone in the house and the next day, act like it was a happy family. Of course, Nancy got tired of this and ended up seeking him out to kill him. That only further altered Matt's mind as far as relationships were concerned. Part of him knew that both were wrong, but their relationship didn't have to end the same way, right?

He knew Gabby's temper well when she was furious, so he always avoided saying anything that might make her angry. Or hurt her, since she could be quite sensitive. Already many times she had cried when Matt said something she didn't like, as he didn't want to see her sad, he would give her or do whatever he wanted to see her happy, even if in the end she instantly wiped away her tears and was smiling like a child. At first it was even endearing to him, because it made him happy to see her happy, smiling and in a good mood, both at home and at work, where he also made sure not to say anything she considered bad. No one had noticed this, because to everyone, they were 'The Couple' of Station 51 and everything seemed to go well between the two of them.

Whenever something happened and argued in the house, Gabby was on the side that doesn't accept her mistakes, but instead says 'either it was both of their fault or exclusively Matt's fault'. She would never accept that she had been wrong about something or that she had wronged the one she claimed to love. And the blond thought that was okay, because, for all he knew, maybe he neglected Gabby a bit or focused too much on his work. He thought he must really be responsible for the poor communication in the relationship and the fact that she had rather aggressive outbursts when he said something he thought was rude or didn't agree with her judgment.

Except that the one who noticed something odd with that relationship was Severide, as was to be expected. Like everyone else, he first thought it was a formal relationship where they both loved each other and were there for each other. But it wasn't long before he noticed things that set off his alarm bells.

The first one started when he was talking to Casey outside, they were both smoking and leaning against the truck and laughing as they almost always did when smoking and remembering different funny moments. At one point Severide slipped his arm around Matt's shoulders and pulled him tight against him to tease him, almost putting his head on his chest. The blond laughed and tried to pull away. Unbeknownst to them, Gabby practically pounced on them and roughly separated Matt from Kelly, who let go, bewildered by this outburst from the woman.

"Matt, I need you to help me with something."

"Ehh... Okay...," Casey replied with some hesitation.

"Couldn't anyone else help you?" joked Severide, causing the blond to smile, but the woman gave him a dirty look and basically tugged Matt's arm to pull him inside.

Kelly noticed perfectly that, as they walked away, Dawson seemed to whisper something to Casey, who shook his head nervously. Severide knew about it. And he didn't like what he saw at all. His mistake was thinking that maybe something had happened before.

The second time, it didn't happen directly to him with Matt, but he witnessed it. He was coming into his office with a cup of coffee to finish paperwork when he noticed the couple arguing. It wasn't in him to butt in, but he simply couldn't help but feel concerned when he noticed Casey could barely speak before Dawson did. He frowned when he saw the young woman sharply push Casey's shoulder before walking away in annoyance. Matt exhaled softly and closed the door, not noticing Severide was there. The Lieutenant sighed, set his coffee down on the desk and pulled two fans out of a drawer.

"Hey," he called to him as he entered his office, "I have two cigars, are you interested?".

"Hmm... Maybe later. Right now I want to get this over with. But look me up in a little while and we'll go outside," the younger man assured him, looking at him with a slightly forced smile.

"I'll take your word for it," Kelly stated. When he returned to his office and sat down, he ran a hand through his hair, concerned.

The next time, Herrmann and Mouch also witnessed a slightly...humiliating exchange. In the morning, Casey had gone to the bathroom to make sure the wound he'd gotten shaving wasn't too bad. Actually, it wasn't. It burned a little, but it had healed fairly quickly. Now all that was left was for him to leave.  
Severide was at his side, leaning on the wash and teasing him amicably and Herrmann and Mouch was saying that he should be more careful, because he could get infected if the blades were in bad shape.

"Now you can brag that you got into a fight and when they ask you about the wound, answer 'You should have seen how I left he,'" Severide blurted out, laughing softly.

"Yeah... Won't happen," Matt denied, smiling in amusement.

"Tss... Like Matt would ever get into a fight like that," Gabby blurted out, smiling oddly as she washed her hands.

"We know Casey would never do that unless he had to," Herrmann said, thinking that's where the comment was going.

"Remember when he attacked Voight? That was phenomenal," Mouch alleged, wiping his hands dry.

"You should be more careful anyway, honey. That cut doesn't look good on you," she insisted.

"It's just a cut. It'll go away in a couple of days," Severide exclaimed, crossing his arms.

"It was done in a very stupid way, all because you were distracted. You're a Captain, Matt, act like one and focus. If anyone sees you like this and they think of a fight, you'll make a bad name for yourself."

Dawson walked out leaving Matt feeling a little embarrassed, Severide clenching one of his coat sleeves and the seniors who were there looking at each other in bewilderment. What had just happened? Had Gabby really just embarrassed Casey over a simple accident?

Next time, no one could witness it, as it happened in the house. They both came in from a heavy shift and all Matt wanted to do was go to bed. Gabby was in a bad mood over a fight with Brett. Apparently, the young blonde had done her part with the victim by ignoring an order from Gabby on what to do, as Brett knew well how to quickly tend to a victim just like her but believed he could do things better. Those were Gabby's words, but Matt knew that maybe it was just confusion and Brett just wanted to help.That girl didn't have an evil bone in her body, there was no chance she had done it just to contradict her.

All this he let Gabby know. Wrong.

"Ah, now you're defending her?" she spat, crossing her arms.

Matt sighed softly.

"She never did anything wrong to you, maybe she just wanted to...".

"And I did do something to her?!" vociferated Gabby, looking at him almost dumbfounded.

"I didn't say that," Matt pointed out, frowning slightly, confused by the way she was taking things.

"So, what? You're still so desperate to be accepted that you're going to support those who do things wrong?" she scoffed, rolling her eyes. "You weren't even there."

"I know how my squad works," Matt exclaimed, trying not to let Gabriela's words stab him.

"You can tell... ", she spat sarcastically, shaking her head.

Matt didn't want to fight anymore. He walked past her, being careful to brush past her and went to the bedroom. He would have preferred to sleep on the couch, but that would end in another fight and truth be told, his head wasn't up for another one. Gabby lay down next to him an hour later, a considerable distance away and roughly, as if she didn't care about waking him up.

Matt just wanted to run away.

The fourth time, it happened to more at work, this time being overheard by Cruz and Otis. Neither noticed that they were both in the locker area, finishing dropping off their things. Before they arrived they were talking about the movie night they would have with Brett and Otis said he had already gotten a nice Russian vodka and the fruity one for her, knowing she didn't tolerate Russian very much. However, they fell silent when they heard Dawson's whispering but angry voices and Casey's usually quiet one.

"Gabby, I told you I don't want to talk about it here," Matt demanded, closing his locker carefully.

"Whatever, you owe me an explanation," Gabby mumbled. "When were you going to tell me that you went back to work in construction?"

"I told you two days ago and you didn't listen," Matt reminded her. He sounded hurt.

"I was doing something important," she replied.

"You were getting ready to go out with Antonio to the same place you do every week and what I told you only needed five seconds of your attention."

Cruz looked at Otis as the other two continued to argue.

"We shouldn't be listening," he whispered to the Russian. He nodded and they started to walk away slowly, but Dawson's raised voice stopped them in their tracks.

"Are you having an affair? Tell me! Is that why the excuse that you're going back to work in construction?!".

"Of course not! It's the truth, I start next week!".

"You don't love me anymore, do you?!".

Immediately, they heard the similar snapping sound that a piece of wood makes when it is split with only their hands all at once. They shuddered violently when they heard it. Next, Dawson came out of there with apparent tears in her eyes. A moment later, Casey came out rubbing his right cheek. Both friends looked at each other.

"We should tell someone," Otis whispered even though they were already alone.

"Yes, that's right... I know who."

Cruz left Otis for a moment to approach Severide, who was talking to Stella in the laundry part. He didn't want to interrupt them, but what had happened didn't seem to be something to let go.

"Lieutenant, I'm sorry to interrupt - may I have a moment?"

"Yes, of course," Severide replied as he realized the man looked concerned. "Kidd, we'll continue later, okay?".

"Perfect," she nodded, patting Cruz on the shoulder as she passed him along with a reassuring look.

"Cruz, what's going on?"

"Well... we were with Otis in the locker room and we heard Casey and Dawson talking, but we didn't want to hear, really," he assured. Severide gestured for him to continue. "They got into a bit of an argument and ... I think there was a physical assault."

Severide's eyes widened at what he heard. He knew Casey would never dare lay a hand on Dawson or anyone else. There was no chance it had been him who was aggressive. Suddenly, anger began to bubble up in him, but he knew he couldn't talk to Boden about it if he wasn't 100% sure it had been. Matt wouldn't talk to him at all, and she would surely twist everything to make herself look like the victim. God, if Kelly were a woman, he wouldn't have hesitated to go stand up to Dawson, but besides being a man, he was considerably bigger and stronger than she was. If he ever faced her, Dawson would play in the role of victimizer and aggressor. It was amazing how manipulative she could be at times.

He took a deep breath and said:

"Thank you for coming to me, Cruz. I'll keep an eye on the matter, I promise."

"Okay, Lieutenant. Keep me in the loop, please. I want to know that things will work out ... somehow."

When he left, Severide's calm expression changed to one of pure anger. He slammed the top of the washing machine down hard and went straight to the bunk room. Seeing Casey sitting on his bed, head down and with one hand on his cheek, he simply couldn't contain himself. He headed toward his office and burst in.

"Casey," he said rather curtly, making him jump a little off his bed.

"Yes?" he asked quietly, inadvertently exposing his red cheek.

Seeing it, Severide reached over and grabbed him by the chin to get a better look at him. Matt didn't even try to push him away.

"Matt...," he managed to say, puzzled.

"It's nothing. I just... hit me all by myself."

"You mean you hit yourself? To wake you up or something?" he asked harshly. He instantly regretted it, but Matt didn't seem to realize he spoke sharply.

"It was just an accident, then the mark will go away."

"And then?"

"Sorry?"

"Then what, another one will show up, will you say it was an accident or what?".

"Kelly...," Matt sighed.

A second before he could say anything, the door opened and a Dominican woman stormed in but seeing Severide standing there, her attitude changed completely.

"I'm sorry, Severide, but I need Matt for a moment," she said sweetly. However, Severide noticed Casey's shoulders tense when she spoke and there was no way he would leave the younger boy alone.

"I'm sorry, but we still have some issues to deal with about the fires yesterday. It's not something that can wait," he replied authoritatively.

"Oh... I understand," she blurted out with annoyance. She left, closing the door rather forcefully.

As he already suspected, Casey was unwilling to talk and he couldn't force it. What he did let him know was:

"Matt, I don't know what's really going on, and although I have an idea," he admitted, causing the younger boy to flinch, "I won't force you to talk to me about it. I'm just asking you to please talk to me for anything you need or that happens. You know I will never judge you or turn my back on you, never."

The blond, still not looking at him, seemed to make a considerable attempt not to break down right there. He held back as best he could and when the older man sat down next to him and put a hand on his shoulder, he could only say:

"Thank you, Kelly."

"Shall we smoke one?" offered Severide, pulling the fans out of his left pocket.

"Yes, please."

That night, unsurprisingly, Casey was going in prepared for whatever Gabby had to say to him. He was mentally prepared for whatever she had to say. There had already been several times Gabby had blurted out things like:

"No one will ever love you like I do. Without me, you have no one," "He doesn't care about you, he just feels sorry for you. It's different. I do," "You're supposed to be Squadron Captain, you shouldn't waste your time hanging out with others so much." And one that had made him angry but he wasn't able to express it was, "Kelly Severide can't be a good influence on you. Look at him, he slept with half of Chicago and on top of that a woman lied to him saying she was expecting his child, although I wouldn't be surprised if he had a few."

That time he was able to tell her never to talk about Kelly like that again, which surprised her and led to another argument.

This time, however, Matt wasn't quite prepared for what happened at his house that night. As soon as he walked in and set his bag down, Dawson pounced on him and slapped him even harder than he had that morning.

  
"What did you say to him?" she growled through his teeth.

"What the hell are you...?"

She didn't let him finish when she grabbed him forcefully by the hair and made him bend down until he was level with her.

"To Severide. I saw them smoking outside today. What the hell did you say to him?" she insisted, shaking him a little.

"Nothing. We just talked about work," Matt assured her, trying not to focus only on the pain.

"You lie... You always lie!" she howled, smacking his face again and now hurting his cheek with her nails. "You lied to me before with your affair and now with that!".

"I didn't lie to you!" cried Matt, managing to push her off of him and move a little away.

"Yes, you have!", Dawson continued, as some tears fell down her cheeks. "You don't love me anymore, do you? You want to go away and leave me. Like when you stayed with me just because I was pregnant and then because I lost the baby, right?".

"No! I did love you then," he admitted without realizing it.

"And you don't anymore?!".

"Gabby, you're acting like I'm against you!".

"Because you are!" she shouted, throwing a glass of glass at him, which hit his right forearm as he covered his face. The blow was hard enough to leave a bruise. He knew that all too well.

"I can't do this anymore," Matt mumbled, managing to grab the keys to his truck and his cell phone.

"Don't you dare leave! I'll tell Antonio you roughed me up if you do!" She then threatened.

"Dare yourself!!" challenged Casey.

Without another word, he ran to his truck and bolted out of there before Gabriela could even get through the door. He had somewhere he wanted to go. The only place he could feel safe at that moment. But he didn't want to seem too desperate either, so one street before he got there, he parked on a corner and dialed Severide's number.

"Hello?" he heard on the other end. Again he hadn't seen who was calling him. It was usual for him.

"Severide, it's Matt, can I ask you a favor?" he asked in an incredibly vulnerable way.

"Casey, you don't even have to ask me. What's wrong?" inquired Kelly, very concerned now.

"Can I stay at your house tonight? I need to talk to you."

"Come over right away."

In less than a minute considering he was already close, Matt parked in front of the building and quickly got inside and went to Kelly's apartment. He felt bad, because he thought he was using his best friend because of a problem he'd had with Gabby. He was refusing to call her "girlfriend," because he simply couldn't do that. She had no right to be given that title.

Even before he knocked on the door a second time, Severide had already opened it and his expression tensed all over when he noticed the wounds on Matt's cheek and forearm. He ushered him in and the blond sat down heavily on the couch.

"I'm sorry for just showing up like this, but...," the blond began, dropping his head into his hands.

"Matt, what happened, who hurt you like that?" the older man continued to ask, sitting down next to him and putting a hand on his shoulder.

"It was... Ah," he sighed resignedly and admitted, "It was Gabby. She was upset about today and.... she got aggressive. Maybe I shouldn't have responded to her."

"What the hell. Matt, she had no right to hit you," Kelly blurted out, furious at the thought of what had happened.

"It hadn't gone that far before, maybe I just..."

"Wow... Before? It's happened before?" blurted Severide.

"She would just push me or say things a little harshly, but it never came to this. Now she's mad that I'm going back to work in construction, but she's convinced I'm having an affair."

Severide tensed at the sound. Knowing he shouldn't hide it from her anymore, he decided to tell her about that morning.

"Cruz talked to me today. He said he overheard them arguing and then a punch, was it her?"

Matt just nodded, still not looking at him. Severide felt the anger still bubbling up inside him. He felt like going back to Matt's house and confronting that woman. How could she treat someone like that? Did she really think she had the right to mistreat Matt just because, according to her, he had said something he 'shouldn't'? He had never had the misfortune of meeting women like that, but he knew himself and knew that the first time one raised her hand, he would leave that person forever. Knowing the childhood Matt had with his parents, he told himself it was likely, not that he saw it as normal, but that he was afraid to do it. After all, his mother felt she could only break free if she went looking for her ex-husband to murder him. He thought the blond might be afraid that Gabby would do the same thing to him.

"Since when did this start?"

Matt gently sniffled his nose and thought for a moment before answering.

"Almost seven months."

Understanding that Matt didn't need to or that it would do any good to ask why he didn't get out of there, Kelly pulled him close to hold him close against him. He heard soft sobs and started and tried to stroke his hair to soothe him, but as soon as she touched him, Matt flinched and pulled away.

"I'm sorry, she made me...," he tried to explain, but felt embarrassed enough to say it. He didn't need to, Kelly could read him perfectly.

"Matt, it's okay, really," Kelly assured him, very slowly slipping her arm around the blond's shoulders so as not to startle him. "I told you: I'm never going to judge you or turn my back on you. You can't go on with her. If she went so far as to beat you up just for being with me or starting construction work again, that's alarming."

"Yeah, I know," Matt exclaimed, looking at the floor.

Suddenly, they heard violent pounding on the door. They both stood up and heard a male voice yell:

"Casey! Get out of there! You've got a lot of explaining to do!".

It was Antonio. Casey gasped harshly at how furious he sounded.

"God, he'll make a fuss," Kelly whispered. "Wait."

Kelly knew he should open the door. Antonio was a cop after all. As soon as he did, he planted himself to bar his way.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing? You can't just barge in like that and try to break in," Severide stopped him as he tried to enter. He knew Antonio had boxed and all, but he knew how to fight well too, and if things got ugly, he wouldn't stop.

  
"My sister called me and said he attacked her and then ran away!" vociferated Antonio, looking over Severide's shoulder at Casey.

"I would never...," Matt tried to speak, but the words stuck in his throat.

"Do you really think he was the one who attacked her?" exclaimed Severide loudly.

"Why would she lie to me?"

"Don't you see, you fucking idiot? She's manipulating you like she did him for months," the Lieutenant finally said.

"That's impossible, she would never...".

"Impossible?" asked Matt, with clear irony. "What about the time she almost broke Herrmann's nose?".

"It was a fucking accident," Antonio spat, almost rolling his eyes.

"So, her scratching his face and hurting his arm was an accident too?" said Kelly, glaring angrily at him.

"What? She didn't..."

"Look at him before you say anything."

Casey approached slowly and Kelly stayed in front of him, making sure that if Antonio let loose a punch, it wouldn't hit the blond. He didn't care if Antonio's fist impacted with his face. Matt had already suffered enough with his own girlfriend, he didn't have to take aggression from his brother-in-law now.

Antonio took a good look at Matt's face and his arm. The bruise was darkening and the wound on his cheek were clear scratches. He knew his sister had long fingernails and on several occasions, she had hurt herself by accident or some people when she gave them friendly nudges and just scraped them a little. But she always refused to cut them, claiming they looked better a little long.

"Did she really do that to you?" asked Antonio, dumbfounded.

"Why would I lie?" the blond replied in another question.

Antonio ran a hand over his face. He couldn't believe that his sister had actually done that. He didn't feel able to apologize to the Captain, knowing that 1) it wouldn't do much good after he had believed that he really was a violent person and 2) he wasn't responsible for what Gabby did.

He wasn't sure how he would proceed, because obviously Matt had to file a report or at least talk to Boden.

"Will you talk it over with your boss?" he asked, defeated.

"Yes, obviously," Matt replied, feeling safe next to the Lieutenant. "I don't want you involved, Antonio."

"But she's my sister," he protested weakly.

"That's exactly why," Kelly pleaded. "She's your family and she often hid behind your position to benefit from certain things. It won't be at all wise to have a repeat under the circumstances, don't you think?"

Antonio shut his mouth and walked away saying "I need some time." Casey felt bad for the guy. He had no business knowing that his sister could go to such extremes with aggression. And it was clear that it wouldn't be easy for him to accept that and that she might soon be reported, either in court or by changing her station permanently with a write-up in a file.

Matt felt suddenly weak. He wanted to sit up again, but felt that his legs were not responding properly. But he didn't need to worry about it. As soon as Kelly noticed that he looked pretty far gone, he went over to hold him down and help him sit back up. When they both did, the older man didn't let go right away, but kept his arms around him, but without imprisoning him in case he felt uncomfortable and wanted to pull away.

"Would you like some water?" he offered gently, still hugging him.

"No. I just want this to be over. I'll talk to Boden tomorrow. "Slowly he pulled away from Kelly, but not out of discomfort, he only did it so he could look him in the eye and ask, "Will you be with me?"

"At all times. I won't let her hurt you again. Not her or anyone else. I promise," Kelly exclaimed, holding Matt's hand between his.

Matt smiled tiredly and let himself fall against Kelly's chest. It was a little strange for him, though not in a bad way. With Gabby he had stopped feeling so loved or cared for a while ago. He felt like he could never talk about his problems with her, because she always made it about her own person and in the end they ended up talking only about her. He also didn't seem to like it too much when they were at the bar on the nights she worked and noticed that he was having fun with Severide and the others. Kidd once mentioned to him once on a shift that Gabby seemed 'sad' because he barely paid attention to her. 

With Severide, it was the opposite. He felt what it was like to be truly listened to and to have someone who unconditionally cared about him. He felt like he could really tell him anything and know that he wouldn't be judged in any way. He felt what it was like to have the freedom to be able to talk to more people without feeling insecure that he would later have to hear claims that he had done so. In fact, Severide always felt happy when he saw him interacting with firefighters from other stations.

That had to be the sincere feeling that no longer existed in his relationship with Gabby.

"I'm scared I'll do the same thing my mother did," he whispered, sticking closer to him.

"She won't, I know. But if she comes to raise her hand to you, I won't stop anymore."

"Boden will take care of it. Don't get yourself into trouble too."

"I'll try," Kelly promised, kissing his forehead and making him blush. "It'll be all right, I'm sure."

"Thanks, Kelly."

Maybe it would be a bit of a hassle, but Matt was convinced it would be a needed respite once it was all over.


End file.
